After Sundown: Illumination Read online

  “Look at me, M’Tali. I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours,” he commanded.

  Rebecca didn’t resist. Sooty, lush eyelashes fluttered open and he found himself entranced by the dazed passion in her eyes.

  Running his thumb lightly over her bottom lip, he reveled in its softness. Unable to stop himself, he dipped the tip of his thumb into her mouth, catching some moisture, and spread it over both lips as they parted in a gasp. Rebecca’s eyes flared bright with desire. Jason’s body screamed for him to take her. To make her his in the way of his people.

  She’d never survive it.

  Gargoyles made love with an intensity that would frighten many humans. Sometimes they asserted dominance through bondage and command. He didn’t think Rebecca was ready for an experience like that, especially in light of her amnesia, or at all. She was a pampered woman, used to the easy life. Used to being treated like a lady in and out of bed, he’d bet. Considering how strong his desire was, how much he wanted her, he didn’t think he could guarantee that treatment. He wanted to take her every way possible, rough and dirty, hard and fast, and slow and easy. He wanted to hear her scream out his name as she came and he wanted her to submit to his dominance as he took her again and again.

  Jason wanted too much.

  Instead he’d settle for another kiss. Maybe that would quench some of the thirst he had for this little female who was so full of light and laughter. Maybe then he could do his job, protect her, without fantasizing about her soft, round bottom in his hands.

  Lowering his head to hers, he saw her eyes flutter closed as he drew close. A sigh escaped her lips right before they kissed. The sound of it drove him crazy but he held himself in check. He lightly caressed her mouth with his own, coaxing her, nipping at her until she opened to him. The minute she surrendered he took the advantage. He couldn’t help it. It was part of his nature.

  He was a predator.

  Pulling her close, pressing her tightly against him. The feel of her soft, voluptuous body pushing against him tested his control even further, yet the male in him gloried in her surrender. She didn’t resist him. Rather she moved her body in a way that told him just how much she enjoyed their contact. And when she began making those small mewling noises of pleasure in the back of her throat he thought he would explode.

  Jason barely held on to his self-control as he savored the feel and taste of her sweet mouth. Her lips softly caressed him back, sending jolts of lust throughout his body. He gently slipped the tip of his tongue into her mouth and explored its moist recesses. She found him with her own tongue and they began exploring each other.

  He had to stop.

  He had to stop now.

  Pulling back, Jason groaned in frustration as he broke their embrace. Rebecca’s lips clung to his almost as if they refused to let go. The urge to pull her into his arms once again was almost too much but he managed to drop his hands to his sides, completely breaking their contact.

  He rose abruptly to his feet. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

  Rebecca’s dazed expression cleared at the sound of his voice. “What?”

  “That shouldn’t have happened,” he repeated, clearing his throat.

  “I heard what you said the first time,” Rebecca said. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean exactly what I said. That shouldn’t have happened, Rebecca. You are in no condition to be imposed upon like that and I am not in the position to do that to you.”

  Rebecca’s eyes narrowed angrily. Jason could practically see sparks shooting from them.

  “I think I’m old enough to take care of myself, Jason. I’m a big girl. Why don’t you let me decide if I want to be, as you call it, imposed upon, hmm?”

  “You are not in a stable enough condition to decide something like that and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your vulnerability,” he replied stiffly.

  Jason was trying to be honorable, and considering his past and the women he had been with, that was saying a lot. But Rebecca didn’t seem to want anything to do with that.

  “O-kay. So I was in no way reacting or acting in favor of what we were doing?”

  “That’s beside the point,” he said with a wave of his hand.

  Rebecca’s eyes narrowed even more as she followed the action. If she had been a cartoon character there would have been steam blowing out of her ears. Her face turned red and she jutted her chin out stubbornly.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Jason. That is exactly the point. If I choose to be kissed then that’s my choice. It’s nobody else’s choice but mine. Do you think you can get that through that thick skull—of—yours?” she asked, rising to her feet, leaning toward him and pointing her index finger into the middle of his chest as she said the last few words.

  Jason was at a loss.

  This woman had him confused. Most females were a mystery to him, and although he told no one this, women scared the hell out of him in general. He just never knew what to expect from them. That was another reason he kept his relationships short and sweet and at a very low emotional level.

  That level had already been surpassed with Rebecca.

  Now he was paying for it. Now he would have to figure things out if he wanted to maintain a workable situation with her. A situation that allowed him to stay close to her. That was important professionally, but also personally. He wanted to get to know this woman more. He wanted to figure out who she was and how she managed to spread light and hope just with a smile.

  Hell, Jason just wanted her in his life, period. He didn’t understand it. This had never happened before. The connection he felt to her was stronger than he had ever felt with another female.

  He would go with his instincts again, as he always had, trusting that they’d lead him in the right direction. And if they didn’t? If he was led down a path of misery? So be it. Jumping off a cliff into the unknown had never been an issue for him before. He wasn’t about to let it stop him now. He would just navigate things with Rebecca one day at a time.

  And in the meantime he would protect her from the insane person who’d attacked her.

  Thoughts of Rebecca’s stalker brought him back to the present moment and the angry female in front of him. Her finger was still stuck in his chest and she continued to glare up at him from her petite height. She had guts, he’d give her that, and a lot of heart. The combination was magical among his people. The combination of a warrior. He admired and respected that in her.

  “I respect who you are and what you feel, M’Tali. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  As he said those words, Jason realized they were the truth. He meant them and felt their truth in his spirit. Rebecca’s response to those words was almost comical. Her narrowed eyes widened with surprise and her mouth fell open. She dropped her arm to her side and took one step back, distancing herself from him.

  “Well, um, okay then. I guess we understand each other.”

  “Yes, we do,” Jason said with a smile. Inside he knew that to be completely untrue. He was still trying to understand females, and Rebecca in particular, but admitted that would only come with time.

  “Do you play chess, Jason?”

  “Chess?” he asked, an arrogant grin spreading across his face. “As a matter of fact I do. How about you?”

  “I enjoy the game,” she answered. “Would you like to play with me for a bit? I’m actually just about finished with my sketches and notes and the remainder really should be done outside in the garden tomorrow.”

  “Sure. Sounds good. Do you want to set up a board right here?”

  “As a matter of fact,” she said, walking over to the small wicker side table in the corner of the room, “I found this board while I was working in here earlier today.”

  Rebecca pulled out a travel-size chess set from the top drawer.

  “It’s pretty small, and well used, but it’ll work.”

  “Are you a good player?” he asked.

  “Funny you should ask that. I didn’t
know if I even was a chess player until I saw the board. Then I remembered that I played. As a matter of fact, get ready. I just might beat your pants off,” she said with a teasing smile.

  “Beat my pants off?” he said, raising one eyebrow.

  Rebecca blushed. Jason’s body tightened with desire. Damn, even her blushes turned him on. Not too many females, human or otherwise, blushed nowadays. The fact that she did was a surprise, a very pleasant, very sexy surprise. He liked it. Too much.

  “Uh, you, um, know what I mean.” She stumbled over her words.

  He gave her a very arrogant, very masculine look. “I know just what you mean. Be prepared to eat your words, because there’s no way you’ll win this match, little girl.”

  “Them is fightin’ words,” she responded, doing her very best cowgirl imitation.

  “Yes, ma’am, they are,” he retorted with his own cowboy twang.

  They both chuckled as she set up the board.

  Things got serious as the game progressed. It lasted two hours. Jason finally admitted to himself that Rebecca was a worthy opponent. She managed to capture his queen, which in itself said a lot considering his experience playing the game. But he gained the upper hand at the end, winning the game by capturing her king in a well-planned move with his bishop.

  “Thank you for a challenging game,” he said as they put the pieces back in the box and returned the board to the side table.

  “You’re welcome. You are an amazing chess player. Have you been playing long?”

  Jason nodded. “My dad taught me when I was pretty young. I think he needed someone to play against so he trained me and if you think I’m tough you should see him compete in chess. Very few can beat him.”

  “Are you and your father close?”

  Jason thought about Rebecca’s question. He and his father weren’t close in the way she was talking about, however they’d had a fairly strong bond. His father’d had a significant impact on who Jason became as an adult. His clan’s teachings, those of the Jutaka, were very disciplined and strict, and his father had faithfully practiced those teachings with Jason at home. How could he explain that to a human female?

  He would do his best.

  “Yes,” he responded carefully. “He spent a lot of his time helping me develop into the man I am today.”

  “And who might that be?” she asked with an expectant look on her face.

  “Who am I, you mean?”

  Rebecca smiled. “Yes, Jason. Who are you? What kind of man are you?”

  “One who thinks it’s time for you to sleep,” he said, getting to his feet. “It’s getting late.”

  Rebecca didn’t move and searched his face for a moment. “Something to hide, hmm?”

  “No. I just don’t want to bore you with the details.”

  “But I like the details. I live for the details. Details are what make the world go ‘round and keep life interesting. Don’t you agree?”

  Jason shrugged. “Maybe other people’s details but not mine,” he answered noncommittally. “Now it’s time for you to sleep so I can go write up an interestingly detailed staff report before sunrise.”

  “Fine,” she said chuckling as she stood up. “I’ll let you off the hook this time, but you better be ready to share all those details with me tomorrow.”

  “We’ll see,” he said shaking his head and grinning. “Good night, Rebecca.”

  “Good night,” she answered, heading down the hall to her room.

  Hours later, still tossing and turning in her bed, Rebecca thought about how she had wanted to argue with Jason. She had wanted to convince him to stay. But she’d held herself back. She had tried to maintain some dignity and grace in the situation instead of melting like a puddle of pudding at his feet.

  She had enjoyed spending part of the evening with him. He was both intelligent and soulful. She liked that combination. It was great for conversation. Yet at the same time she had realized he was hiding something. She wasn’t sure how she knew it but she did. And if her memory wasn’t wrong, she had trusted that instinct to her advantage many times in her past. She recalled calling that instinct her “Becca senses”, and she seemed to recall friends joking with her about knowing things that no one else did, or predicting the future in a way that was uncannily accurate.

  If her “Becca senses” were correct then Jason was hiding something, something he really, really, really didn’t want anyone to know about. That intrigued her. She would find out the truth. She’d find out what tall, dark and hunky didn’t want to share with her. It was, after all, what she did. Uncover the truth and expose it to the world.

  Rebecca smiled.

  Well, well, well, another memory found.

  Her smile drooped slightly as she again thought about the day.

  It had been another day filled with unexpected events. She rolled over in her bed for what must have been the hundredth time that night, unable to settle her mind. So today had not turned out as expected. So what? Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow she would work out in the garden.

  Tomorrow she would see Jason again.

  Those thoughts lightened her heart and eased her mind. Sleep slowly crept over her. And as she slept through the rest of the night her dreams didn’t turn back into nightmares. Instead they were filled with a sexy silver-eyed man walking hand in hand with her in an incredibly beautiful garden.

  Rebecca woke before sunrise the next morning. She went into the dining room and grabbed a steaming hot cup of coffee. Just inhaling its rich, nutty fragrance made her feel better. Was she addicted to coffee? You betcha. Did she have a problem with needing to drink one or two cups each day? Nope. She knew for a fact that there were a lot of worse things to be addicted to.

  Taking that first sip kickstarted her day. It got her mind working, her creative juices flowing, as they say. She gathered her drawings and notes and sat in the atrium to watch the sunrise. She loved the fact that the garden was situated on the east side of the building, allowing her to witness the beginning of the day. She imagined flowers filling the view in front of her, the rainbow of colors bright as the sun’s first rays hit. And she imagined the succulents she would plant. Those desert dwellers that did so well in the Arizona summers. Dew would form on their thick leaves, shining like diamonds as the sun hit them for the first time.

  And she couldn’t forget textures. She would vary the plant shapes and textures to add variety to the garden. Asparagus ferns always did well with their spiky, bushy growths, but she would mix them with feathery cassias, whose small yellow blossoms brightened the day. She would only let the cassias get so tall, because she didn’t want them to obscure the garden and she wanted them to look well manicured. They did much better when their feathery branches were allowed some freedom. And she would have to find a semi shady spot for bird of paradise. Its graceful, arching orange blossoms were gorgeous in bloom. They were a stunning focal point for any landscape.

  Rebecca had sketched out and noted all her ideas. But until she went outside and viewed the garden firsthand she couldn’t know for sure where to place the plants she envisioned. As the sun rose higher she went to breakfast. Eating as quickly as she could, she finished her food then went back to her room to dress. She wasn’t sure where the clothes had come from, but she noted that among the outfits provided there was a pair of comfy, faded jeans and a t-shirt. Perfect for her gardening excursion. She also found a straw hat and some work gloves. She was good to go.

  Leaving her room, she searched for Joey. Hopefully Dr. Everett had straightened out everything and Joey would be more cooperative than he’d been the day before. She eventually found him talking with some other patients in the group therapy room.

  “Good morning, Joey.”

  “Morning, Rebecca. How are you doing this morning?”

  “Much better than yesterday, thanks,” she said with a smile. She wanted to approach the attendant in a positive way because she knew that her attitude was important to her success in the garden.
Plus she knew Joey was just doing his job to the best of his ability. She wanted to respect that.

  “I took your advice and spoke to Dr. Everett during our appointment. He said he would organize for me to go out in the garden today. Is that right?”

  Joey nodded. “Yep. I got the okay from administration this morning. They said to give you free rein in the garden. Word is you’re a real green thumb and you’re going to transform the space outside into something magical. So whenever you’re ready just let me know.”

  Rebecca looked down at her sketches and notes and back up at him. Anticipation filled her. She was excited to start on this project. Her grin must have told Joey exactly how ready she was.

  He chuckled. “I take it you’re ready now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, then let’s go.”

  Joey walked her to the double doors leading outside. Anticipation built inside her until she was shaking. When he unlocked the doors and she walked out into the sun it was as if a miracle had just happened. The warm feel of the sunshine on her skin was wonderful. The smell of honey in the air called to her. Alyssum. Someone had planted alyssum. The small white or purple groundcover blossoms smelled like honey. She took a deep breath, letting the sweet scent fill her lungs.

  It was heavenly.

  This was where she needed to be right now.

  “Thanks, Joey,” she said, giving him a quick hug before starting her inspection of the grounds. “It means so much to me to be out here.”

  “I know, kid. And I’m glad for you. As much as I seemed a stickler yesterday, I hope you understand that I was doing it for your own good. I strictly follow the rules so that my patients stay safe, not because I enjoy saying no.”

  “I do understand. And thanks for looking out for my safety.”

  As Rebecca looked around the garden and noticed a few basic gardening supplies nearby, yesterday’s altercation with Joey was forgotten. As was the frustration and helplessness she had felt. She was in a garden, creating. Everything felt right in the world.

  “I’ll be back out in a couple of hours to check on you, if I haven’t heard from you first. Let me know if you need anything, Rebecca,” Joey called over his shoulder as he walked back inside.